As a lot of people know, on Twitter/X (I'll just refer to it as X from this point on) there are a lot of crazy people. A lot of crazy people who say a lot of really, really crazy things. As someone who has spent far too much time on the website, I thought I'd lend you a hand here.
I'll attempt to translate some of the terms and phrases you might hear on X into normal people speak. The format will be: What they say = what it actually means.
I engage critically with media! = I throw a big Internet tantrum if it's not woke enough.
I'm ANTI-RACIST! = I really hate white people, especially white men.
I'm a communist! = I'm retarded.
I fight for social justice! = I'm retarded and hate white people, especially men.
BLACK LIVES MATTER! = Only the ones who agree with all of my crazy ideas. Also I hate white people, especially white men.
Fiction affects reality! = I'm so retarded I can barely feed myself.
Sexism is bad! = Except against men, especially white men who I hate the most.
Racism is bad! = Except against white people, especially white men who I hate the most.
NO ONE ELECTED ELON MUSK! = I just hate whoever they tell me to.
Everyone should be FORCED to use their real name and picture online! = I'm really mad that I can't get you fired from your job and kicked out of your home for your Internet opinions.
Do Better = I'm addicted to the dopamine hit I get when I call people out online. Give me clout!
I'm speaking my truth! = I'm full of shit.
I'm an ALLY! = I'm in a cult.
We need more SAFE SPACES! = I should never hear any opinion I disagree with ever.
That's a MICROAGGRESSION! = I'm full of shit.
Late-Stage Capitalism = I'm full of shit.
TOXIC Masculinity! = I hate men, especially white men.
If you'd like a part 2, let me know on X.